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How Pin-Up Introduced Me To Self-Love

 

“I am what I am, I am my own special creation” – Gloria Gaynor

AllowingMyselfToBeAPinUpIntroducedMeToSelfLove

[Author’s Note: This post was originally published as an article in the first issue of Adore Pin Up Magazine, and has been altered.]

Iwas sixteen when I first realised that it was possible to use eyeliner on top of my eyelids. It happened during class as I asked one of my friends how she managed to have such dark lashes and cat-like eyes. Not sure if I was making fun of her, she shared an amused look with another friend, and revealed to me the wonders of successfully applied make-up. That eyeliner could do more than just slowly melt down my face, was a personal epiphany.

Sadly, I am no longer in contact with this particular friend, but to this day I remember her as the woman who enthralled me with her unapologetic femininity, and who introduced me to the realm of personal taste, elegance, high-heels, corsets, and Dita Von Teese.

It didn’t take long for me to become obsessed with this newly revealed world and to want nothing more than to be part of  its decadence, spectacle, glamour, confidence, titillation, and shameless self-love. I was hooked.

Nine years have passed since then, and I have spent a great deal of time exploring, testing, and trying on “femininity, “being a woman,” and wondering what that even means.

As I am sure you know, this process is an ongoing and complex one, but I wanted to share one crucial step on this journey with you because it changed a lot for me:

Getting involved with the Pin-Up lifestyle and community.

Share, if this was valuable to you! If not: Connect with me & tell me why! xo

The One Thing Every Creative Needs To Do To Feel Happy

Do you have the courage to bring forth the treasures that are hidden within you? – Elizabeth Gilbert

Take Creative Action

 

If you are anything like me, you have this deep and compulsive urge within you that haunts every moment of your life. *no, I am not referring to your urge to squish the cheese in the supermarket display, you sicko!

The urge I am referring to is surprisingly simple in its demands, and only ever says one thing:

You. Must. Create.

I can’t remember the first time I realised I was cursed – sorry – blessed with this innate need, but I know that I have been resisting it for just as long.

This is quite a boring thing to do, as all I am merely repeating the age old cycle of creative denial, which usually consists of three highly complex steps:

  1. Urge to live the best fucking creative and amazing life you possibly can
  2. Feeling too scared to do it and pursuing something else instead, while constantly beating yourself up about it
  3. Repeat

With the fear come the excuses, and you put following your calling off for another day or two, until another year has passed. It’s easier. It feels safe.

It is comfortable in the same way as Chinese Water Torture is comfortable. You think you’re fine at first, but drop by drop it will drive you insane.

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Are You The Cheap Date You Wouldn’t Want Anyone To Meet? [ + Free Visualisation]

 

 

“The changes that matter most are more often changes in perception than changes in the world outside us.” – Paul McKenna

TheWorldShiftedWithMe

Untitled-1hen Mr. Big brings Carrie Bradshaw to a grimy Chinese restaurant fortheir “post-coital dinner,” she bumps into old friend Mike Singer who is visibly embarrassed to meet her there.

After he fails to introduce Carrie to his date and tries to get rid of her, she knows something is off.

A few days later he tells her that even though his date is intelligent, caring and great in bed; she is not the kind of woman he would date openly [or consider beautiful].

In fact, even though she makes him feel more like himself than any other woman ever has, he is embarrassed to admit to even spending time with her.

She is his invisible woman.

The cheap date you take out to questionable bars outside of your usual hunting grounds; where you avoid eye contact with others as you walk to your place across sticky floors and hope that no one you know suddenly shows up.

The kind of date-arrangement that thrives on small talk and impersonal sex but withers away when it is confronted with too much authenticity and vulnerability.

Watching this episode of Sex and the City got me thinking:

How many of us do this – not to others – but to ourselves?

How many times do we treat ourselves like the cheap date, as we wait for a better version of ourselves to materialise?

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What To Do When You Are Too Afraid To Create

 

“Resistance is a bully. Resistance has no strength of its own; its power derives entirely from our fear of it.” – Steven Pressfield

what to do when you are too afraid to create four simple steps to help you deal with creator's fear blog post catdepillar illustrator artist

As I sit in my pyjamas at four in the evening and contemplatively take a sip of tea, I begin to wonder why it feels so hard to start the creative process.

Creating is what I DO, so why am I not whipping out the paints, splattering them wildly across a large canvas and throwing my cat over it in an outbreak of artistic ecstasy?

Why has yet another day/ month/ year passed without me doing anything remotely associated with creating? Why have I not picked up a brush, a pen, a needle, a pair of scissors?

Why have I not been listening to my deep desire, my core need, my inner longing  – to create?

Oh right, because it’s fucking terrifying!

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