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Cat

In my short life, I have often felt like I didn’t deserve things based on my appearance, and the ‘rules’ that seemed to be universally acknowledged by every one around me (and myself). Even though I am still very young, I have faced the soulsucking emptiness of depression, and how it feels to have stripped yourself completely of self-love, self-worth, and self-esteem. I stopped doing the things I loved and disappeared as a person, eaten away by my fears and doubts [I also ended up in some shitty relationships!].That is, until I started allowing myself to be deserving of (my) love and the life that I wanted to live, in 2013. [Read more about my story here]

Since then, I have been dedicated to inspiring self-love, growth, and living an unapologetic life – expressed through many creative endeavours (and sarcasm)! 

Untitled-1ey, my name is Cat and I’m here because I want to help women like you and me learn to authentically fall in love with themselves. When I talk about self-love I sometimes feel like I am trying to explain a first-world, narcissistic luxury that nobody really needs.

This could not be further from the truth:  Self-love is about emotional and phsycial survival on the most basic level. Once we shift from self-loathing to self-love, it is a radical transformation that affects every aspect of our lives for the better [I solemnly swear!]. But, most importantly of all, it is a key ingredient to start living a self-driven, unapologetic, and heartbased life. A reclaimed life that is full of active choices, rather than unhappy passiveness and regrets!

My goal is to have you so connected with your authentic self that you are not only an inspiration of love to yourself, but to everyone you meet!

As a multipassionate person I have struggled for many years to find my ‘one thing’ that I could focus on. Every time I tried to just do one thing and split myself from the other things I loved, I lost myself as  a person. As I stopped doing what I truly loved, particularly drawing – based on the fact that I could not find a ‘real reason’ for pursuing it any longer – I broke. I fell into a deep depression and lost my energy, my drive, my passion for life, and just – disappeared.

It took me six years to recover from this inner splicing, and the first step was to simply allow  myself to do all the things I loved; even if their ‘only’purpose was to make me happy. This initial permission kick-started my healing process, and gave me my life’s mission. Seems that there was enough reason behind doing what I truly loved after all….

Nowadays, with my own permission, I am a model, relationship coach (trained by Rori Raye), writer, artist, (burlesque)dancer, and speaker  – and try to find as many ways as possible to use my talents, passions and ideas to inspire myself – and you. 

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15 Answers To Random Questions You Never Asked

 When I was a young girl, my Mam decided to leave Ireland and accept the invitation from a casual aquaintance to live with her in Germany. (Wow, did that woman regret her drunken offer at the Munich Octoberfest!) However, merely moving countries once was not enough for me, and in 2011 I left the comfort of my home and family to study in Austria. Since then, many people have made fun of the fact that I, an Irish girl, moved to another German speaking country in order to study English. Today, I live in the landscapes of “The Sound Of Music” with my man, his mother – and our three cats.

But that story wasn’t actually part of the Q&A, so, in the name of vulnerability and connection, here are my 15 answers to questions you never asked and that I ‘randomly’ chose to suit myself!

  1. I might trick you into thinking I’m an extrovert, but I am an absolute introvert. I once locked myself out of the student home I was living in, because I didn’t leave the house for three days and the keycode [that you refresh every time you open the door to the building] expired.  AboutPhoto
  2. One of my favourite books is “Ella Enchanted” (1997) written by Gail Carson Levine. I have read this book every year since I was 15, and I love how I can trace back every meal and drink I enjoyed while reading it, just by looking at what is stuck between and on the pages. Every time I read that book I feel inspired to write.
  3. I do not tan. EVER! I’m that weird person at the pool wearing a long-sleeved top with leggings.
  4. I am a firm believer of the saying that there is nothing that a good cup of tea won’t fix. I’m Irish, black tea with milk runs through my veins! (Bonues: Whoever can tell me which movie inspired this phrase wins a print of their choice from my existing artwork)
  5. Around the time my man and I first met, he actually laughed at my last name – with another girl. I am still disgusted.
  6. When I enter the password for my laptop, the melody “Opening Chest With Item” from The Legend of Zelda blares through the room. I enjoy celebrating the small victories of life…
  7. I need my younger brothers to stay up to date with ‘stuff’. When I want to know how to use Instagram better e.g., I go to my 11 year old brother for advice.
  8. I have a T-shirt that says “I love my bed more than my boyfriend.” Sadly, this is true.
  9. After losing a bet, I had to play Silent Hill in a dark room, with an all-round sound system (and four guys sitting behind me giggling like little girls).  I think I would earn a lot of money if I posted the video of me throwing the controller away and running, screaming, out of the room, to youtube.
  10. Up until two years ago you wouldn’t have caught me dead wearing anything pink; now, it’s practically the only colour you’ll see me wearing. Although black is still a strong second.
  11. Ever since I got my first deck of tarot cards, I have been on a spiritual and esoteric journey that inspires and awes me every day. I consider myself an eclectic witch.
  12. It is not at all unlikely that I might turn into a crazy catlady someday.
  13. My field of study has nothing to do with art: I am currently finishing my MA with a focus on critical culture, feminist, and videogame studies. I really meant it when I said that I was multi-passionate.
  14. My favourite saying is: “Better aim for the stars and land in the mud, than aim for the mud and make it.”
  15. I am a a very positive person, even in dramatic situations. When I moved to Austria the car engine broke on the way, and my Mam and I were left stranded in some industrial area, on a Sunday. Instead of freaking out, we bought a meal from McDonalds, spread a blanket next to the car, and watched FRIENDS on my laptop until help came.
  16. Bonus: I am probably the only person my age who still quotes regularly from FRIENDS. Tin. Open. Worms. EVERYWHERE!

 

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Join me on this journey of self-love! 

Let me help and inspire you to unwrap yourself from the cocoon of limitations and rules that are no longer serving you, and instead dare to live a life on your terms.

Love Yourself. Be Surprised!  

 

 

Photograph 1/3:  Photographer: My dear friend Bernd Rößler. Model/Styling/MUAH: Cat De Pillar
Photograph 2: Photographer: Miss Fiona. Model: Cat De Pillar
 

The Good Enough Creative

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