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You Decide How You Want To Feel

“Most people want to make you responsible for the way they feel.” – Rachel Wolchin

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I have always loved wearing things that made me look “over the top,” or “overdressed.” I would wear ruffled white vampire shirts with red satin corsets to school, or I would show up in full evening wear for a casual birthday party [as you do].

While I would like to boast that my style has become more refined, I am still often considered over the top. I am known for click-clacking my way through life in high heels and lipstick, and I always overdo it when I am invited to parties and events.

But that’s me, it happens naturally. I never felt insecure about it; it was just the way I loved expressing myself, and it  is a natural extension of who I was/am inside.

That is, until people made me question myself.

One time, after singing a melancholic aria in preparation of my music degree – clad in flowing layers of black fabric – my music teacher told me to look less “Gothic” the next time I performed.

I was gutted. Before he made his nasty remark, I had been extremely proud of my performance and my outfit. I had felt completely connected to my song in that outfit and had strutted about in it, feeling like a queen.

After he gave me his speech, everything about the outfit and evening was ruined for me. It completely destroyed the fantastic memory I had of myself and the performance.

It made me question everything.  

He was not the first to make me feel that way though, and he also wasn’t the last.